When I became pregnant with our daughter, I was over the moon. And to feel her move and kick, wow, utterly amazing. I read all sorts of books about pregnancy, knew how big she was at certain gestational ages, the works. Then she was born. Wait a sec, I forgot to read what to do after they're born! The nurse placed her in my arms, I looked at her squishy face...and I panicked. If I remember correctly, I cried. There were tears of joy, sure, and tears of "what the hell do I do now". Wasn't this that magical moment I'd waited for? My hair plastered to my face with sweat, sheer exhaustion taking over, her screaming about the fact that she was pushed out of her home. Then, she stopped crying, and she opened her eyes. She looked right at me and made these cute little sounds. I played with her fingers and whispered, "You have long fingers like mommy." She just stared back at me, knowing exactly who I was. And I stared back at her, smiling, knowing exactly who I was too. I was her mommy.
With our son, he actually tried to arrive seven weeks too early. I remember my OB saying, "You're in preterm labor, you need to go over to the hospital right now because this little guy can't arrive this early but he sure is trying." I was scared, so scared. My husband met me at the doctor's office and we sat in the waiting room while the nurses got my paperwork ready. I was so silent, worrying, wondering, and he looked over at me, grabbed my hand and said, "He'll be alright." I tried to hold in my emotions but being pregnant and frightened, that wasn't going to happen. I started sobbing and apologizing. My husband put his arms around me and just held me. He said, "He's just in a hurry to meet his mommy." That of course made me laugh and I started calming down. Li'l B decided to stay put until one or two weeks before his due date. (They kept changing it on me for crying out loud.) Then, his shoulders became lodged making his birth a little more difficult. After he was born, I was holding him in our room. When he opened his eyes to look at me, I smiled and remember saying, "Well to be in such a hurry, you sure took your time getting out, little man." After he was born, I felt complete, as if our little family was whole.
Mothers are born when their children are. I think with each child, we grow a little more. Everyday we wonder if we're getting it right; and we're really just winging a lot of it, but I think a lot of us are following our own mother's/parent's/caregiver's examples. (I know I am.) Giving love, encouragement, discipline when needed, and lots of hugs and kisses. These are the little people we created. They watch us and how we deal with life. We can't scream at things not going our way and then wonder why they do the same thing, or get upset when they do. They are little people just trying to figure this crazy world out. And we are big people, also still trying to figure this crazy world out and the world of Parenthood. I always say about my children, "From a dream, a reality." And I couldn't feel more happy and blessed to have my dream come true. Yes, they may drive me to the brink of insanity some days, but I also smile a lot, watching them discover, grow, knowing I wouldn't have it any other way. They are my babies and I am their mother.
Have a wonderful Mother's Day fellow mommies. Now go hug those babies!
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